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Baby Number One

Diari is a month away from being a big sister…and she knows it. So I have been spending the past few months reminding her that she is my first baby and she will never be replaced. What’s funny is that it seems like I’m having a harder time with the change than she is. Over the past few months, she has been taking care of me, and our bond has been growing so much stronger.

They tell you that your first baby is special and I knew this would true but I could have never imagined how much this little girl would impact my life. Watching Diari grow up is such a blessing. She has her own personality that is just Diari. It’s not me, it’s not her dad. It’s a mix of everything, but just uniquely Diari. She is funny, friendly, witty, mischievous, and confident. She is my little friend; we hang out together, we travel together (check out our Cuba blog from her first birthday if you haven’t read it and the Cuba vlog if you haven’t seen it), and we take care of each other. I’m her mommy, but she supports me in ways I can’t find in anyone else.

One night when her Dad was out of town, Diari and I made the sweetest memory together. She and I came home and had dinner, then I gave her a bath and we went to bed (we’ve been co-sleeping for most of Diari’s two-years of life). So everything went as usual that night. Then, in the morning, I woke up before her and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and almost cried. I looked terrible and it made me feel like shit (which has been a common feeling for me this pregnancy). My hair looked a mess and my confidence was all the way shot, but I had to get on with my day, so I went and woke up Diari. It was 5 o’clock in the morning but even in her sleepiness, Diari opened her eyes and said, “Good morning mommy! Ooh, mommy, your hair is so pretty.” She got up and hugged me, almost as if she could tell that I was going through it. I really started crying then!

Memories like these have been piling up the past few months and they mean the world to me. It’s crazy that it feels like she really has a sense for what I’m going through. Even though she can be a wild two-year-old, she’s been more mild ever since I started getting sick. A lot of the time I’m emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. I don’t know how or why, but she will come and ask me, “Mommy, are you okay?” or “What’s wrong, mommy?” One time she asked me, “Mommy, you want a bottle of water?” and then she went all the way downstairs by herself and got me some water. She’ll rub my head, give me a pillow, and (my favorite), she holds my hand to help me down the stairs! Sometimes she will come and ask to touch my belly and when I let her, she’ll say things like, “That’s my baby,” or “Hi darling” and it cracks me up! I love this little girl’s compassion and I want her to know that she is loved and appreciated.

Diari’s New Room

To help Diari transition, we’ve been putting her room together in the new house and let me tell you, she loves it! Even though we’re still waiting on her bed frame, we got her a new “big girl” mattress from Tuft and Needle, pink sheets, a comforter set, and fluffy pillows. She also has a really nice kitchenette set, and all her big stuffed animals and other toys organized in her room now. I also organized her closet so that all of her stuff is in pink bins and she can reach some of the important stuff on her own. Over the next couple weekends, we’re hanging up curtains and bookshelves for her and creating a reading nook in one of the corners. It’s literally the bedroom I always wanted growing up!

We’ve been putting Diari to bed in her room lately and she loves it. She has even kicked us out of her bed a few times lol. If she wakes up at night she’ll come to our room every now and then, but she knows that she has her bedroom and it makes her happy. Now, if I tell her to put her dirty clothes away, she’ll go straight to her bedroom closet and put it in her dirty bin instead of the one in our bedroom. And when new people come over, she’ll say “Oh let me show you my bedroom,” or “You wanna see my room?” and it makes me so happy!

The New Chapter

So even though I’m trying to get Diari ready for baby number two, it seems like I need more help than she does. I’m excited for this baby because I think Diari is going to make an amazing big sister. Stay tuned if you’re as anxious as I am to see how it goes!

To my mommies, how did you transition baby one? To my older siblings, how’s your relationship with your younger ones? I know I have stories about my brother for days!

2 Comments

  1. Mariam Balde
    January 30, 2019 / 4:07 pm

    Awww this got me feeling emotional, when I had my second baby my first one was just 18months old. And it was hard for him to understand what’s going on, I cried almost throug out my pregnancy I was trying to keep him close to me so I kept breastfeeding him. When I had the baby he was exited the few days that we were at the hospital he was thinking that the baby was a toy lol. When we got home with the baby he started feeling emotional and crying too. I use to take him to daycare but when I gave birth his dad had to take and he wasn’t happy because he was missing our moment together, his teacher let me know that he wasn’t happy and doesn’t want to play which is unusual. As soon as he gets home he will go straight look in the baby’s crib and start crying and cry even more when he sees me breastfeeding the baby. So I had to breastfeed him too for him to be happy. We still co-sleep with him he can’t sleep if I’m not in bed with him. My husband says that he knows that I can’t sleep either without him. Now he loves his little brother and he gave him a kiss every morning when he wakes up and once he gets home. His now 19months and he knows everything that is going on and he understands everything. He helps me by bringing me diapers and wipes, he helps me doing laundry, vacuuming, emptying the washer…now I ask my self where is my baby because his all grown and smart. The bond between you and your first child and mother is so strong.

    • talesandturbans
      Author
      February 6, 2019 / 2:40 pm

      Hey Mariam,

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and sharing your story with me. I can definitely relate to your story, I am very anxious to see how Diari will react. I am trying my best to include her in everything I do so she doesn’t feel left out. I am happy to hear your baby is now adjusting really well.

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