An Open Letter to My Thick Modest Girls

An Open Letter to My Thick Modest Girls by popular Indianapolis modest fashion blogger Tales & Turbans

This post is an ode to my sistahs, the modest girls, who live the struggle of being modest while thick. But it is also an informative note to the people who see us but don’t understand us. Hopefully, this will shed some light on the struggle and encourage us all to think about it more.

I was recently asked why I no longer wear “full hijab” and honestly, it wasn’t a decision I made lightly. When people see you in hijab, they often assume that you and your actions speak for the whole hijabi population. You become the representative for the whole, even though you never intended to be.

An Open Letter to My Thick Modest Girls by popular Indianapolis modest fashion blogger Tales & Turbans

The reality is – it is hard to look “modest” with my curves. No matter what I do, it seems like there are parts of me that I just can’t hide. So I choose a turban most of the time to avoid the looks and the “how can you wear that with a hijab on” question. Now, I know this might seem like a cop-out. But honestly, it is not – it is an expression that allows me to be modest in the best way I can, without speaking for the whole Muslimah population.

As a curvy Muslimah, you are judged by brothers and sisters galore who think that you chose this butt and these thighs. Modest girls shopping is impossible because even abayas, the loosest form of clothing you can find, tell your secrets. When I made the commitment to wear the hijab early on, I had to transform my closet. I remember one time when I spent an entire day shopping trying to find clothing that represented what I thought was modest fashion. At the end of that long day, I went home with two dresses and eyes full of tears.

What I have learned is that these curves are mine by the grace of God. He gave them to me and I know that he knows my intentions. I have learned to embrace “me” the way that God put the final stroke of his paintbrush down.

I DO NOT promote removing the hijab – I love the hijab and admire and celebrate all my Muslimah sisters who rock it every day despite the stares, glares, and judgment. Remember, we are all at a different stage in our journey, and we should support one another along the entire way.


  1. March 5, 2018 / 7:12 pm

    This is honestly very relatable, it is always a struggle between my curves and modest fashion.

    • talesandturbans
      March 12, 2018 / 3:05 pm

      Thank you for reading

  2. Mariam
    March 5, 2018 / 8:30 pm

    Thank you for sharing your struggles and putting yourself out there. A lot of people don’t understand how hard it is to wear hijab. I applaud you for being open and up front about it. We have a few diff issues facing hijabis. One is the lack of real quality modest fashion by Muslim companies, and at the same time this movement to mold us in with mainstream societies unrealistic expectations. So it’s like a never ending battle on each side in the Muslim community and outside it. But supporting and lifting each other up is always the way to survive tough times. May Allah make it easy on you inshallah!

    • talesandturbans
      March 12, 2018 / 3:06 pm

      Thank you for your honesty and for sharing :)Ameen

  3. Jasmine
    March 12, 2018 / 3:04 pm

    This is a great read, I am dealing with the exact same struggle and have started wearing turbans and hats because I feel less eyes are on me that way. May Allah keep us all steadfast in our efforts ameen!!

    • talesandturbans
      March 12, 2018 / 3:07 pm

      Thank you for your feedback, it will get easier. Ameen

    • talesandturbans
      April 7, 2018 / 12:27 am

      Thank you sis

  4. Fmatta
    October 2, 2018 / 8:08 pm

    You’re such an inspiration and your stories are amazing MaaShaa’Allah. It’s not easy I know the struggle because I am a hijab myself but we will all get there In Shaa Allah and Allah knows our intentions, that’s what matter most. May Allah make it easy for all of us and guide/guide us In Shaa Allah. You’re loved Aisha ❤️❤️

  5. Sheedah
    August 22, 2019 / 4:23 pm

    This is so relatable. I’m also curvy and I sometimes get called “swagger alhaja” by people who think my outfit is too body clingy for a hijabi. Thanks for sharing

    • September 25, 2019 / 1:16 pm

      My pleasure! Don’t let other ppl distract you or make you feel unsure of yourself.

  6. Kingais
    August 22, 2019 / 6:28 pm

    You couldn’t be more honest about the struggle of being a thick Muslimah. Growing up I got bullied for being thick but Alhamdulillah I’m learning slowly how to love my self they way god made it. ❤️

    • September 25, 2019 / 1:15 pm

      Bullies are insecure so I am glad you are learning to love your body 🙂

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